Words of Courage

The struggle started already. I had faced a lot of difficulties. I bid a hard farewell. I surpass them all. I know I can surpass the next to come. I believe. I believe I can. Funny to say but I will say. ‘I love difficulties after the bidding of goodbye’. Haha. Why not, di bala? Difficulties won’t let you down. It will make you a better person in preparation for a harder adulthood. Goodbye is a two-sided element. Though you feel the agony, yet in exchange to it is gratification.

The essence of the existence of problems is not to make people hopeless or make them feel the agony of the consequences. Agony is neither the end of everything nor the start of the end. It is part of what we call LIFE. When you feel you’re in great despair, just go on, as what the song ‘Pagsubok’ uttered in its lyrics: ‘Pagkabigo’t alinlangan gumugulo sa isipan, mga pagsubok lamang yan, huwag mong itigil ang laban. Huwag mong isuko. Iyong laban.’ That is what life wants you to feel first because after the suffering and pain is gratification. Here is a practical question: ‘What do you want to feel first, pain or joy?’ It is somewhat the same in asking ‘What kind of ending do you like?’ See? Do not feel bad when you are suffering. No one is to be blamed. Just face anything.

Since I love difficulties, I, Joy James Saguino, officially declare that MY LIFE IS NOT DIFFICULT.

Loving Others' Kite

Difficult. There is guilt (sometimes). Doing what you don't like is risky and challenging, yet if you look at the other side of the paradigm, it is prudent. Why? I looked more on the needs of others, especially my family, before mine.

If you can still remember on one of my reflection papers, on the book Like the “Flowing River” by Paulo Coehlo, there is a part in there entitled “Flying Others Kite”. I stated my struggle in giving up my passion for my family's sake.

I do not want my parents to get disappointed. They have great expectations on me. Honestly, I am still having confusions regarding the 'degree' issue now. There will always come a point that 'What if I shift course?', 'No James! Do not do that! Think of your family!' Haaay. . .

I love my family. Everyone, perhaps, does. Everyone, also perhaps, wants the best for his or her family. Everyone will do his or her best to shun and overcome any ordeal that they will encounter.

I learned in my Economics 11 class last year about ‘opportunity costs’ and that nothing is free. The concept of opportunity costs states that something is earned when another thing is given up in exchange to what you got. In accounting, it is not always cash inflow. There will always be cash outflows in the form of expenses for operating, financing and investing activities in a company.

You cannot own two things at a time, especially that one is willed to be given up. Unfortunate for me that what I should give up is my ‘happiness’.

Give up. Give up. Give up. I may often think that life is all about giving up.

True. Life is a quest of your happiness. Happiness is not about what makes ‘you’ happy. The epitome of this pursuit is not egocentric. It focuses on how you make yourself as a tool in making other people’s happiness come true.

I don’t want to be an accountant. I want to be a journalist. Irony: I am taking Accountancy, not Journalism.

Acceptance is the hardest part of all. “I am flying my parents’ kite — the kite they made for me.” This kind of acceptance is mediocre. Love is the missing element here. For you to show and justify that you made the right decision, you have to face and accept its consequences. You may not expect what these are, but what I am trying to say is preparing oneself to anything. Love is its prerequisite.

I am learning to love Accountancy now despite the fact that I still wanted to be a journalist someday. I learned that being a ‘journalist’ does not need to take a journalism course. If there is a will, there will always be a way. I am doing this for a purpose — for my family. I can do it!

Reason for Living

I was in my third year in high school. 21st century was the start of the global financial crisis. I thought it will only be the elite who will be affected. Unfortunately, I was wrong. Crisis chose no class.

The rubber industry in our place was in great crisis. Rubber price and value went down rapidly. Since most of our customers are rubber farmers, our bakery is also affected. Sales were also dropping rapidly.

Our bakery is small. It's just about a quarter or one third of a classroom (classrooms here at UPVCM) ― with a big baking oven in a corner and some wooden cabinets attached on the walls. Consuming approximately 2-4 sacks of wheat flour daily for baking, our family can surpass a day with enough food in our stomach.
Since the start of the crisis, I have been decisive to take part of my family's predicament. I planned to do this and that. I looked forward that on that certain time, I will have this and that and etc. I really wanted to help and I know that finishing a degree and having a stable job is the answer. From then on, I've been torn between two choices of degree to take ― whether Accountancy, which is my parents' top choice, or Journalism, which is mine. I ended up no choice at all but to take what my parents and other close people advised me. I took it, despite the fact that I don't like the field I am taking.